Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
