too bad you live with your parents still
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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