I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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