She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
