were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
