Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
