How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
