and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
