People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
