we have officially lost it.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
