It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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