Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
