oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
