Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
pop tarts are not kleenex
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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