before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize