I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
