every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I think I won the penis lottery.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
