just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
