yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
