just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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