fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
