Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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