in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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