And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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