Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
