Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
