Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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