You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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