the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
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