just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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