in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
