evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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