I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
