does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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