Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
