i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Can you repeat that, but with context?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
