I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
