What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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