apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
