yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
