I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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