is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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