I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
