So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
