Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
