And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
