Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He shit in the fireplace
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
