white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
