Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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