I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
