So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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