So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
