Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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